bad week

It has been long time since i write blog d loh. maybe someone you will be wondering wat had happen to me for the pass few weeks. This week alone is a tiring week. really 'eat up' a lot of times just to study. Monday, tuesday and thursday(today) exam for just this week and can say i totally screwed up maybe all of them but definatedly screwed up one really badly on tuesday. due to tat, make me very down on tat day itself, feel helpless, feel like almost end of the world.

Haiz, really need someone to talk with, but with WHO? somethings are suppose to share, but to share it/them out, i really need trust them in order for me to express them out. here in KL, i somehow dont have tat kind of feel. maybe coz i dont have any 知心的朋友 kua, i dont not know lah. maybe coz i m the type of quiet person, but sometimes i really need some frens to talk with loh, really feel lonely and helpless, got no one to be with u when ever u need them.

today is the 3rd day of exam and already finished 3 paper, which means left 4 more papers and left bout 2 weeks before i leave KL and back to Kch. hopefully next week will be a better week than this week, hopefully can do well in the upcoming exam. really really really wish tat.

saying of this, there is some kind of problem with my DVD rom eh, which make me no mood again. haiz, when go back to Kch,really need to bring to hospital again and need to clarify the term 'waranty' with the service centre since i already sent my laptop there in May this year.

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when i feel lonely, i browse the MSN, see who i wanted to chat with, but got no one tat catch my eye. i also do not know who i want to chat with and wat to chat about. sometimes really feel boring about it leh. besides that, i also keep thinking of finding a partner but someone no girls out there tat really make me 'tachycardia' and 'hypertension'. *hehe*. really can find one loh coz like can share ups and downs with someone and tat someone can really understand me then can no need to like always think here n think there loh. as one saying say '船到桥头自然直' hopefully this really works loh.

i thinks tats it for me now. good luck to everyone out tat who are having exam and study hard. *wish i also can study hard* and also happy birthday to ppl out there who are having their birthday during the mids of exam period, either this week, last week or maybe next week. hehe. bye and sayonara.

IMU or UCSI

2 months ago, i chat with my friend who is currently studying in IMU. Since i quite some time did not chat with her, so feel curious about her latest happening. first of all, she was just starting studying in IMU, so i was curious about the environment in IMU. she said that the lift cannot be used as it is for staff only and the excalators have broken down and they need to walk up a lot flight of stairs. besides that, she also mention that it is very cold in the classroom, even with a jacket on.

after seeing all those words appear on the screen i somehow feel happy and lucky that i am here at UCSI, with a nice environment. forget about the small campus and have to walk all the time, it is a nice palce to get my degree.

Birthday??? Present???

Birthday is like just an ordinary day for me since not much people remember it. even if they do remember, it is just wishes from them only. not to say that i want people to give me present, but sometimes i do envy people who receive presents during their birthday, seeing how happy they are. is it there any privillage for girls since like they usually will get lots of presents from their friends? every time when friends' birthday, i will always need to spend some money to share present. however, how come i do not get back what i have spent?

everytime when almost my birthday, parents always just go out to have dinner at some restaurant. they will always ask need to celebrate or not, want present or not (I think so), but i always say no need since my birthday always near Chinese New Year. maybe because all my siblings are boys and also seldom communicate well with them. there will not be any present given out by parents to me and my brothers.

everytime when my friends discuss about birthday and present, i always keep quiet and just listen to them discussing. For example, the girls usually wil get 'gold key' when their 21st birthday from their parents, some sign of adulthood. even some of the boys will receive expensive present from parents. me, on the other hand, always receive shirts from friends and out of the last 5 years, 3 years receive shirts and only receive 3 presents in 5 years time. maybe becayse they will say like if they are sincere, it should be ok already. imagine, every year need to spend about RM100 plus for birthday presents for friends and in return, only receive present which cost like RM50 or less each year.

sometimes really feel jealous when see people celebrate birthday with happy environment. how i wish i could experience it. maybe i should treat my friends for some dinner or lunch during my next 22nd birthday. well, this is still pending and need consideration, but still got less than half a year to go before my birthdays. times really fly.

Being single or in relationship? That is a tough question to answer. Being single has it pros and cons and also does being in relationship. Thinking back few years, when in relationship, the relationship cannot be called as real relationship. Even though gain some experience from it, but still lack of what a couple usually do when together, base on what i think and from television shows.

Whenever I saw my friends together with their partner, somehow deep down inside my heart, I feel jealous or maybe envy. How I wish I can have a partner as well. Having a partner means extra responsibility but also means that having a listener that is trustworthy as well as someone to cuddle with. Maybe my thinking is childish, but this is how i think and wish, wanted to become a child again, experience it and do silly stuffs. Maybe because i did not do much of them during my childhood. Memories of childhood seem like does not exist in my brain at all, even if got, only bits and pieces only, not a complete one, a fragment, I should say. Seeing most of my friends can recall back their memories, whether is good, happy, sad and etc. How I wish that I can do that as well. Nonetheless, having memories and not share out with people is also another problem for me. Sometimes people do take time to get to know my present as well as paying attention to what i have to say.

Service at Church on Saturday

Well, yesterday afternoon i go to church again with my friend just like last week loh, kinda attracted to it with the environment, just like wat Jacob mention, ppl come to the church because of the environment and friendly people and not because of they like Jesus very much. kinda true and make sense of wat he say. i really like the environment there as well as can listen to the soothing music. besides that, can go to church to listen to story and learn new thing as well. think bout wat i have done in the pass and like how to improve them as well as know wat mistake i had done and try not to repeat them if possible and also the way of life. kinda interesting to me.

The sermon today is about parents, how we should treats our parents, respect them and take good care of them. well, base on wat Jacob say, i really din treat my parents very well loh. kinda sad and kinda make sense of wat he say during his preach. Quite interesting also his preach. we should not raise out voice when talking to our parents, respect our parents, love our parents, communicate with our parents and be with our parents as often as possible, accompany them loh. Seem like i din know do most of the above. so during the end of the service, Jacob ask whoever want to ask for forgiveness from God, can go up-front and ask for it. quite a number of person went up there loh and who are they, i cannot mention since this thing is like consider personal loh. my fren beside ask me if i need to seek prayer from the pastor as well, like ask me to go up-front with the rest of people. So, i just shake my hand and say no, no need. TO be honest, i really need to seek forgiveness loh. From who, i myself also not sure. and since i still learning to talk, to communicate with people as well as how to respect ppl, maybe it takes time loh. sometimes really dont know how to communicate with parents and brothers because since kids/small, already no communication at all to begin with since most of us are quiet. and because of this, we all end up keep quiet only, become quiet till now loh.

overall, can say that there is some improvement in myself loh, like can talk a more than usual if u like compare me with the old me in secondary school.really loh. till now, i still learning loh,how to improve my communication skill as well as like how to talks craps. really dont noe how to talk craps loh. always serious only. but ho, i kinda like to listen to stories more than talking.haha. this is true,dont know why i like to listen to ppl talk, listen to their stories compare with me telling them stories, since like no one want to listen to mine also loh.haiz.sad. seem like no one pay attention to me when i open my mouth.

Since like a few week din update my blog already and alvin keep on asking, 'got update blog or not'. so now, i updating my blog since i got something to write already loh.haha. been here in kl for like almost 2 weeks already and i mostly spend at home,eat,sleep,watching movie,drama. been out like 2 or 3 times only.haha. well, my fren ask me to join a church camp, organise by him during 22 to 24 this month. since i got nothing to do,so i eventually agree with him since he say this camp is not about worship, it is about 'true love worth waiting'. seem like i more interested in love thing. hmm, who knows maybe can meet my true love at the church camp loh or maybe can see lenglui as well.haha.

i think tats all from me loh since i dont know wat else to write. Have a nice day, Friends

Good Bye Kch

Going to leave kuching in few days time. Times really flies when at kch although everyday stay at home watch tv n drama n movies. already in kch for 3 weeks already and going to kl for some more free times. 1 month plus b4 school reopen as the class start on 2nd week of july. imagine wat i can do there. M i going to be bored there? i wonder.

since this 3 weeks in kch, i already go renew my passport, go watch Spiderman 3, buy another 1GB RAM for my laptop and bring my laptop to NEC CARE for some 'care'. hehe. din go out much because no car to use loh in the day times. wat a luck. i also eaten some of the food tat i miss n keep thinking of when i was in kl. another thing tat i havent do is going to meet CY and u know wat, i going to meet her tomolo night. guess i dont noe wat else to write.

Hello

wah, it has been quite a while since i update my blog, keep reading CY blog.haha. see her always update her blog. maybe she too busy kua.wahaha. i very free, but keep on watching drama and anime and tv. chatting is also one of my activites. well, just now go to the imigresen office to renew my passport and going to take it on tomorrow morning. result r coming out soon. haiz. dont noe wat to say. no feel. haha. just dont think bout it and wait for the result only loh. like keep checking it in like 1 hour once. want to be the 1st to know when result out n go spread the news to friends.hehe. because of want to renew my passport, i go cut my hair, which is also long already.haha. my holidays here in kch will end soon. din go anywhere loh besides going out to yam cha with frens couple of time but still havent go out with CY since she so hard to get hold of. busy person boh.

well, last week end up having 2 times eating steamboat. 1st is to help celebrate helen's belated birthday and it is on thursday night. quite fun as seldom have chance tat we all can gather together and eat and talk togethr. and because of this steamboat, my body temperature goes up for few days. not fever, just feel hot inside the body. after couple of days, ok d. second steamboat was on sunday and it was mother's day, so go eat steamboat again loh since mom cant really eat a lot of stuffs, like fried one cannot eat and etc lah.

Lonely life

cant imagine a day without internet and laptop. wat can i do without them.haiz. really boring loh if no internet. not having to online for almost 48 hours really make times hard to pass. now i laptop already at hospital d and hopefully can take it back as soon as possible loh. now using my mom laptop to online loh. hehe. wat to do, tv also got nothing much to see loh, somemore got satelite. haiz, really not much thing to watch eh. somemore no car to use make me more boring loh. well, tomolo going to watch movie,hehe, at least wont feel so bored at home.

glad to hear tat clara already finish her exam, means most of my friends already finish their exam d, but still have a few have few more papers to go b4 holidays. i wish them luck and all the best.

Just now i go check my account, already reach 200+ loh. hehe. wat a wait, waiting for bout 1 month for it. ppl who are interested bout wat i m talking can find me and ask me bout the kang tau tat i meantion. no harm in listening as can gossip as well ah.

2nd day in kch

hmm, back to kch already 1 day liaw, yet whole day at home din go anywhere, wat to say,no car to use. all the cars being used by my parents and brothers. so just have to sit at home doing nothing. just now finish watching 'Just My Luck', quite nice although not so new d, meaningful as well.kinda feel i dont have much luck lately. haiz.

To be or not to be? Tats the question. to be quiet or not to be quiet. keep thinking bout this loh. someone ask me to be more social last few days. well, to be honest, sometims i do speek,when i got things to say,but most of the times keep quiet and listen to ppl talk, find it quite interesting to listen ppl talk and wat they talk bout. sometimes i find it difficult to talk and chat loh. then ho, sometimes speak,the pronouciation not acurate and i scare tat u ppl will laugh at me loh, so because of tat, can say tat long time din really talk loh. even if talk, i also dont talk much. wat to say bout craps somemore, cant find topic to talk loh. one of my friend told me tat to talk craps, wat also can talk loh, still learning though, but learning to sociallise is an obstacle for me somemore i m shy, like communication say, personal barrier-high level of shyness. really wonder when can overcome this loh. hopefully. and hopefully after i overcome this, can find a gf or find more friends or can make somemore close friends. hehe. well, sometimes feel hard for me to overcome this loh, shyness and talk

i like spending times with friends, yam cha, talk and gossip or even go to have fun, eventhough u ppl out there keep on seeing me always online. from playing games to online, i still prefer spending my times with my friends, listen to them speaking, like the fun interaction. this sem break i too early come back to kch liaw, too early book ticket. next time i wont tat early book ticket laiw, wait till the timetable is out then i go book, then i can spends time with my frens. hehe. well, hopefully next sem breaks can go somewhere to play with them loh.

now most of my friends are having final and next week is their final weeks d liaw and most of them start to coming back on the following week, so when they come back, hopefully can go out with them and gossip with them if i have car to use. if not have to trouble u guys out there to fetch me.hehe, u ppl dont mind rite?

well, my blog kinda messy since i dont noe how to organize them, hopefully u ppl dont mind bout it oh. wishing u ppl out there good luck and all the best for the finals and happy holidays.see u ppl soon

Untitled

well, now is already pass half of the exam period d, with 3 papers finish and 3 papers to go, which are organic chemistry(quite tough), basic med chem(Also quite tough) and not to forget comm skill(crazy common sense subject). today papers not so confident bout it, although can do most of it, except 1 question, but dont noe do correct or not correct, tats the problem i n the rest of my frens are facing, quite confusing as well. since the pass already past, y want to think bout it, just think bout the future since the future we need to walk towards it and embrace the pass. talking bout ang mo here.haha.

well, just now when i check my email, i notice there is an email from air asia which say tat there is 500,000 free seat give away, as usual, and so, i plan to book the ticket for cny, but the problem is, there is 3 days b4 cny are weekdays and i also dont noe when is the holiday start and when holiday finish. haiz, dissapointed loh. so now, only can wait and see when the time is near, then can book the ticket loh. wat to do, risk now or pay more? the risk tat i m taking could be a quiz, a presentation or etc. upon looking this email, i go told my friends bout it. they also dont feel like booking the ticket since it is still early and cannot decide also and also dont noe there is class on the cny week also. haiz, this is call life, with lot of risk to takes.

well, i have been lazy and goyang kaki bout one program a.k.a. reward program which will help us to earn money. hehe. din go and introduce to ppl coz if like i go introduce to ppl, sure like they will ask for proof. so now it is already 2 months and i have proof. oh yeah!! can say tat i have got bout 200+ d bout i still havent go cash the money out. so have to wait loh since like still havent balik modal loh. so guys out they, who ever are interested in this nice kang tau and investment, do find me since like i m gladly to introduce to u ppl even though u dont want to join it. just listen also can ah. no harm and i can sharpen my social and communication skill since i lack in them.

today another interesting happen. maybe u ppl think is normal, but i also think is normal, but this is already can make me happy d loh. hehe. well, maybe u ppl out there will think like, ee, this guy is crazy one, but wat to do, i m in love(maybe), haha. bout wat happen, cannot say out here loh, since scare someone will come and read this one loh. want to know more, just find me in msn, all the 8 girls and boys.

well, now is already pass 12 and i m going to bed soon loh. i trying to keep this as a habbit so tat i can wake up early in the morning to study since like in the morning feel refresh unlike late at night when u feel sleepy and tired. 3 more papers to go while some of my friends have 2 more papers to go, all the best and good luck in the final exam. not to forget my friends who is not around with me, i know u ppl are facing exam as well now or soon going to have exam, all the best as well and good luck and also see u ppl back in kch. haha.

have a nice day everyday. good night and sweet dream. sayonara. and also sarangheiyo. haha

EXAM!!

Finally, exam going to start soon in about 14 hours more. my 1st paper after long awaited. haiz, i really dont noe if i can manage to pass this exam or not. 1st paper it basic pharmacology and immunology. both quiz i really din badly. well, basically read the lecturer's note a couple of times d but yet havent remember. haiz. hopefully can remember well in the morning loh. well, gtg d liaw loh. now is almost 12 d loh. i want to go bed to sleep as i going to wake up early in the morning, hopefully can wake up at 6am. all the best to my friends out there who are going to sit for their finals exam, like Miss X (^^), chh, JS, HWLIM, CF and many many others loh. really hope all can pass the exam and no need to sit for supp paper and all can enjoy the long awaited holidays, like in 3 more weeks

Peace & Quiet

as my title of my blog and title of my post mention, peace and quiet. it is a very important element for me since i need a quiet environment for me to study. why cannot i have a quiet environment to study no matter where i go, even at the uni library also noisy, with ppl talking and discussing stuff and etc. i think tomolo i need to go to the library and see whether the library is noisy or not. really need to find a peace and quiet environment for me to study without any interference. haiz. hopefully loh. the black guy really make a lot of noise. somemore got ppl even play piano with not nice to listen music. really want to move out from this noisy and sad place so tat i really can concentrate in my study. well, one my my friend told me tat if i move out, i will be far apart from me, and my reply is, so? i dont mind. well, on this issue, i think tat i dont mind since tat for the time being, study is more important compare with other things and i also plan to not play game d. cannot d liaw loh, playing game really takes up a lot of my time. really hope tat i can find a peace and quiet environment out there for me to study so tat i can get good result. being far apart from her is not a bad thing as well since i recently or rather quite a while din talk or chat with her d. maybe need some time to cool down a little. somemore she also havent ready to start a relationship. so wat for i rush. from wat i think, somethings are worth waiting, just tat i dont miss the oportunity only. tats all from me as i need to continue to study.

special girl

when u ppl see the title, of coz u ppl sure know tat i m going to talk bout this special girl. let just refer this girl as miss X. hehe. as always, miss X always try to make me happy n even try to confort me when i m down. besides tat, she is very special in a way which make her special. even though she same age as me, but she act bit childish, which make her special in a way. well, tat is her and which make her one of a kind in this world. besides that, she even sometimes try to disturb me, bully me and like teasing me some more bout some particular things and issues. i guess that, without her, i would feel lonely loh since seldom ppl will find me and chat online, she even skype when we are free. open the voice conversation and just leave it there without doing anything, and listen to her typing and writing and doing stuffs. sound funny though. haha. thx for being there for me miss X.

Easter service

this morning or rather almost noon time already, i went to my friends church, which is nearby the condo for their service since they say got performance, support them mah. hehe. besides that, i long time din not step into tat church d loh, somehow liaw almost 2 months d loh. can say tat this is my 3rd time to tat church. environment is as friendly as ever. hehe. my friends performances are very interesting n meaningful. overall, try dont do sin and even if u do sin, look back towards it n regret bout it n turn over a new leaf and dont forgot to trust n believe in God. the the very end of the service, the church leader got ask who ever want to hand in their life to Jesus or how long time din be with him, please go up to the front. my friend who is beside me was looking at me, asking me to up front and she say tat she will accompany me. but how to say, i reject her. deep down, i also dont noe wat i want, still remain as a free thinker. maybe because the time is still not right for me i guess or i still not ready or not yet prepared myself to accept any changes in life. times will tell everything to me and i hope tat i din not miss anything wonderful when i m here at UCSI.

oh, and clara, the her tat i meantion is not this her oh. haha. she today very pretty oh, feel like more attracted to her d. haha.

1st blog

1st blog in blogger since i saw clara move to blogger, maybe because that this blog is easier to manage and easier to login. so maybe want to try out n use this blog instead of using friendster or livejournal, either way,i long time din blog d loh.hehe.

Well, exam is next week n the duration is 3 weeks with 2 papers each week. as time goes closer, i feel tat i getting more n more stress, even feel like dont want to study at all n keep on playing game. haiz, wat to do neh, teach me, clara. long time din talk with u thru skype, dont noe y, miss ur voice, miss the conversation loh. maybe after the exam, then will use skype loh, but time flies n the exam r coming in very fast as week. now only left 6 days b4 my 1st paper while the rest of my friends have exam on monday since they all taking Malaysian Studies while i got exempted. hehe.

last month is a very emotional month, a lot things happen to me, a lot assignment due, haiz. hopefully everything can go smoothly loh, but got something i will remember in my heart forever. the feeling of lossing someone important to u.1st time feel tat way in my life, really unpleasant.

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Seeing my friends have couple or their life partner one by one make me feel like i also want to find one partner as well, but hard to find also since no 'yuan fen' and maybe my time has not come. even thought i like/love some girls, tat girls are either unavailbale d or i m not her type or no feel at all. haiz, wat a life. besides tat, some of the girls in the uni are attractive as well, but just admire only, no feel,hehe, but everyday can see pretyt girls nice also,but if like can find a partner, then it will be very much better.

Single is not a bad thing at all, but it has pros n cons as well and it does go the same with having a partner as well. to be honest, i feel like i long time din act as myself d loh, din become childish. ppl do grown up but i seem like always serious everytime. this is wat my ex told me b4. really loh, feel like i m serious all the time, dont noe how to relax, now i also dont noe how to release stress. playing games is an option,but not suitable at the moment now. guys out there, if somehow or somewhere u suddenly see my become childish or act like childish, please forgive me since i also need sometimes to be myself n like act like childish althought i sometimes say my friends childish, especially u, clara, haha.

well, hopefully tat i can concentrate in my studies n can sleep at nite since i last nite cannot sleep at all eh, laying on the bed from 11 smt till 1 smt, then switch on laptop to have some games. why this happen to me oh. haiz. feel bit miserable loh n feel stress. really need to release my stress n reduce my stress level as soon n as much as possible in a short time.

all my friends out there who are having exam soon, i wish u all good luck and hope u all pass with flying colours and tat do as well goes with me since i need luck n hopefully can get good result in this exam so tat i can continue fighting in the course.

i think tats all from me now. wishing u all having a nice n wonderful day.